Bad Son Rising Read online

  “You shouldn’t be.” Zac mustered his courage, knowing he was on the verge of becoming very vulnerable and she might tell him to go take a flying leap.

  “Why is that?”

  Here goes. He took a deep breath, “Because this is not a game, Lils.”

  She was silent. Possibly staring off at some indeterminate spot on the wall or within her head. Finally, she focused back on his eyes. “Lils?”

  Smiling, he nodded, “Yeah, Lils.” That had been his nickname in his head for her since the beginning.

  This time he knew it wasn’t his imagination when she melted into him, finding her space on his bare chest. “I like that. I like that you have a nickname for me.”

  If this were anyone else in his arms, he would’ve had her straddling him and his wet jeans would have been long discarded. But it was Lily, and he didn’t quite know what to do.

  Moving her slightly away, he struggled to his feet. “Let me see if my shirt is dry.”

  Walking across the shack, he took a deep breath that she couldn’t see and blew it out slowly in an attempt to decrease his heart rate, before it beat out of his chest. The realization of just how nervous he was came as a shock.

  Taking his tee shirt off the nail he felt it, “It’s almost dry. Just slightly damp.” He tossed the shirt to Lily.

  “Wait, what about you?”

  “Put it on, it’s almost dry.” Zac turned his back so that she could change in privacy.

  “Thank you,” her voice was soft.

  Turning to face her, his heart melted at the sight of her in his shirt, hanging around her loosely like a dress.

  Unconsciously, she hugged it to herself. “You might not get this back.”

  Crossing back to where they were seated, he took his spot against the wall and sank to the floor, stretching out his legs. Without hesitation, Lily took her place between his legs, nestling back against his chest.

  He wanted to tell her that she was killing him, but instead he just wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes.

  “Now that I’m in a dry shirt, I have to keep you warm.”

  “Works for me,” he smiled.

  They were silent again for a few more minutes. Zac tried to figure out how he could capture this feeling and hold onto it for when he needed it again in the future, when he needed to remember what it felt like just to sit there with her in his arms, listening to the rain. He knew there would come a time when he would just want to feel her next to him, as if she were his.

  “So Zac,” Lily began, “am I the only girl in the project you haven’t nailed.”

  He laughed, “You might be.”

  Twisting to see his face, serious Lily was back again. “Why is that?”

  “Because it’s not like that with you, Lils.”

  He could feel her body stiffen. “Why? Don’t you like me?”

  “Yeah. I do. A lot.” Getting those five words out of his throat was challenging.

  “What? Like one of the guys?”

  She really didn’t know and he was going to have to say it or possibly never have the opportunity again. Petrified, he tried to get his saliva glands to step up to the plate because they seemed to have left the stadium, leaving him with a dry, chalky mouth.

  Dropping his face to the crook of her neck, “You really don’t know how I feel about you?”

  She shook her head, “I just kind of assume I’m not your type.”

  “You’re right, you’re not.”

  He felt her body shift away from him, but what he couldn’t see was her eyes well with tears she was fighting desperately to control. “That’s what I figured,” her voice was hoarse.

  Pulling her back tightly against his chest, “Lils, you’re not some girl I’m just going to screw,” she didn’t respond, so he went on. “You’re the girl I don’t want to fuck it up with.”

  “So, you do like me?” She still hadn’t turned around to look at him.

  “A lot.”

  “But in that way?”

  With his lips resting on her shoulder, he nodded yes. “Yes, in that way.” His head nestled into her shoulder.

  “Well, how come you haven’t, I don’t know, made any kind of move?” She finally twisted a little to look at him and he lifted his head.

  “Man code. You know, you and William. Not cool for me get in the middle of that,” he shrugged.

  Lily’s eyebrows knit together, “There is nothing going on between me and William. Is that what everyone thinks? That something is going on?”

  Zac nodded, remaining quiet.

  “It’s not true, Zac. There’s nothing going on. But what about you, what about you and Anneliese and Katje? There’s something going on there, right?”

  “If you’re asking if I’ve hung out with them. Yeah, I have. It’s just good times. It’s not anything real.”

  Zac could feel every muscle in her body stiffen and felt terrible for telling her, but it was better that she got the truth from him.

  “Lils, I don’t know that I’m great boyfriend material. I’m used to being a dick. It’s what I know.” He was hoping she’d say something, but she didn’t. “But I would want it to be different with you. You’re not a drive-by. And I don’t really know how to do the other stuff. But you make me want it. You make me want to try.”

  Sweeping her hair to one side, he buried his face in her neck.

  Finally, she spoke, “Are you saying this to me because we’re stuck here? Because if you are, don’t. I don’t want a one night stand with you, Zac.”

  Letting his teeth graze the soft skin of her neck, he felt her shiver, “I don’t want a one night stand with you either and with my track record, I know that may be hard to believe. And of course, the one girl I want to believe it, doesn’t.” Pulling his mouth away from her delicious tasting neck, he rested his chin on her shoulder.

  “Ok, I’ve got nothing to lose here,” he began. “The weekend we met, all I wanted to do was make you notice me,” he laughed, “and you didn’t even know that I was alive. I wanted to make you smile, Lils. Isn’t that crazy. I just wanted to make you smile.”

  Turning herself fully within the circle of his arms, she was on her knees facing him, “You wanted to make me smile?”

  He nodded.

  “I was so miserable. I just wanted to be over here. I didn’t want to be back at Yale.” Surprising him, she placed her hands on his cheeks, “And you wanted to make me smile?”

  He nodded again.

  And there it was… finally, beautiful and elusive, and Zac could feel his emotions rising dangerously close to the surface. Liliana Castillo had a heart stopping smile and the only thing he could do was return it with one of his own.

  With his face still in her hands, Lily leaned forward and kissed Zac, surprising him as the aggressor. Threading his fingers through her long silky hair, he pulled her in tighter for a consuming kiss that poured out everything he had ever wanted to say to her and more.

  When they finally pulled away, he took a deep breath, his forehead resting against hers. “I have wanted to do that since that first night out in Montauk.”

  “Me too,” she whispered.

  “Really? You were so aloof.”

  “Guys like you are trouble, Zac. I was afraid to let you anywhere near me.”

  “And now?” he smiled at her.

  “I’m not afraid anymore.” Her hand was back stroking his cheek.

  Seeing the sincerity in her eyes, he whispered, “That’s a good thing, because I want you near me.”

  This time he initiated a kiss where he poured out his soul. And for Zac Moore, this was a first. A first kiss being given by a guy who was an expert kisser, yet had never kissed before.

  Pulling her on top of him, they kissed short kisses, long deep kisses, laughing kisses, exploring each other’s mouths and necks kisses. Zac ran his teeth gently along Lily’s jaw eliciting a moan that practically made him explode.

  “I’m going to have so much fun figuring out
what makes you crazy, Ms. Castillo.” He gave her hair a playful tug and her moan melted him. “Ohhhh, you like that. I can tell you already that playing with your hair is going to drive me wild. I love the way it feels sweeping across my chest.” He pulled her back down for a kiss.

  “I’m going to explode, Zac. Don’t you want to make love to me?” She searched his eyes and then with a smile, “It’s ok, it’s not like I’m a virgin.”

  He wanted to tell her that he was though. The guy who had screwed more women by his eighteenth birthday than five men combined usually do in a lifetime, wanted to tell her that he had never made love to a woman in his life and he wanted to make sure it made her happy. A first. Caring about another person’s pleasure. He never gave a shit if his partner came or not. They seemed happy enough and if they were faking it, well, that was their problem.

  But Lily. He wanted Lily to crave him day and night. He wanted her to crave the places he could take her, the spaces he could fill. He wanted to give her everything she needed, everything she wanted. And here on the dusty floor of an abandoned shack, deep in the heart of Africa, he feared he’d disappoint her and that elusive desire, one he had never had with anyone but her, to be part of a relationship, would be lost. And he would be lost with it, just another thirteen year old growing up too quickly in a land where nothing is real.

  “I want this to be good,” he whispered.

  With her face inches from him, “Is this real?” She searched his eyes.

  “Yeah, Lils. This is very real,” his pale blue eyes flashed back truthfulness.

  “Then it’s going to be great. We’re going to be great.” And Lily Castillo would wait no longer for the boy who was trying to be gentle with her, first sliding off her jeans and then opening his.

  Whatever fears he harbored evaporated the minute they came together. Looking up into her golden eyes, her long silken hair swishing across his chest, it was the fantasy he had on the night he met her. Running his hands up her lush curves, he loved how she was soft and feminine, how her body snugly enveloped his.

  “Lils,” he pulled her forward to kiss her.

  “I love that you call me that,” she could barely speak as her body built toward release.

  “Me too,” he whispered in her ear, as he pressed her down onto him tightly. “Lils.”

  She began to whimper in his ear, a sound almost like crying, but clearly borne of pleasure. As it intensified, her body began quaking, and with her face buried in his neck, he heard his name and knew she was ready for him to let go.

  Lying with his arms wrapped around her tightly, their legs tangled, he buried his face in her hair. Feeling happier than he could ever remember feeling, he thought, this is it, that elusive something he’d convinced himself was merely bullshit. But it wasn’t bullshit. It was real. She was real. And he was going to do everything in his power to make sure they were real.

  Dozing off to the scent of Piña Colada, Zac Moore prayed this dream wouldn’t be ripped from him, but his track record of good things remaining in his life was not exactly stellar.

  “Lils, the rain has stopped,” he whispered to a dozing Lily nestled on his chest. “We probably still have two hours of daylight to get back to camp.”

  “OK,” she looked up at him, golden eyes flashing distress.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked, praying she wasn’t going to tell him that what had happened between them was a mistake.

  “Does this all go away when we leave here?”

  “C’mere.” Relieved, he pulled her up him a little so that her head was resting on his shoulder.

  “This is,” he paused, “whatever you want it to be, Lils.”

  Her brows knit together and storm clouds blazed across her eyes, “What exactly does that mean?”

  “It means if you don’t want it to go away, it doesn’t go away.”

  “What do you want, Zac?” Her head was raised and she was looking at him.

  “What do I want?” he repeated her question. “I want to be with you day and night. I want to know what your favorite flavor ice cream is. I want to be able to read those looks in your eyes that I don’t quite understand. I want to be touching you constantly. I want you to keep wearing my tee shirts and I want to take them off you. I want everyone to know you’re mine, Lils.” He threaded his fingers through her hair.

  “But are you mine, Zac?” She probed his eyes.

  He wanted to tell her that he’d never been anyone else’s… ever. That he had always been hers from that very first night in Montauk, the night he tried to make her smile. “You want to hear me say it?”

  Lily nodded, her eyes so serious.

  Taking her face in both hands, he pulled her head toward him and with his lips next to her ear, he whispered. “I’m yours, Liliana Castillo. For as long as you want me. I’m yours.”

  “Promise?”

  Stroking her hair, he smiled at her pretty face. “Yeah, I promise,” he laughed.

  “I think I’m going to want you for a very long time, Zac Moore.”

  Closing his eyes, he pulled her tightly down onto his chest again, doubting that she would feel that way if she really knew who he was and everything about him. He knew he had to savor this moment and something deep inside told him that he’d be calling on this memory to carry him through some very dark moments.

  Zac was able to make contact through the satellite phone letting the base camp know that they were safe and en route. Walking back to camp along the rutted, muddy path, they sidestepped some huge puddles and slammed wet filthy sneakers hard into others, laughing and playfully trying to splash one another with mud.

  “You’re such a dick,” Lily laughed, the front of her jeans and tee shirt covered in mud, as she tried to splash him back.

  Pulling her into his arms, dirtying his own clothes with the wet mud caking hers, “Yes, I am and it might be a very smart thing for you to remember that.”

  “Duly noted,” she swiped her hands slowly up her tee shirt, pausing at her breasts, clearly pleased at the wanting look in his beautiful blue eyes.

  He watched her hands slowly circle her nipples, mud squishing through her fingers.

  Convinced she was purposely attempting to kill him with a sultry smile, he was proven correct when Lily’s muddy hands shot out like twin serpents, lunging toward his face.

  With the razor sharp reflexes of someone who had trained on a tennis court, Zac caught her wrists mid-air, holding them tight.

  “So that’s how you want to play, huh?” His grasp was still tight on her wrists as he jerked her body against his and lowered her hands to the small of her back.

  Lily’s smoldering look was defiant.

  Pressing both of their muddied hands against her ass, he molded her hips against him, knowing she could feel his erection against her stomach.

  “How am I not going to touch you when we get back?” his question was serious.

  Lily shook her head, not knowing the answer.

  With his hands clasped over hers, he flexed his fingers, having her grab her own ass within the confines of his grasp, as he ground her into him.

  “Liliana Castillo,” he bent down to whisper in her ear, “I am going to have a damn hard time if I have to wait to fuck you again.”

  “You liked fucking me?” her smile was smug.

  “Yeah. A lot,” he laughed and let go of her right hand, pulling her into a fast walk beside him.

  About fifteen minutes before they reached base camp, Zac playfully grabbed Lily off the path, backing her up against the smooth gray trunk of a mature Baobab tree.

  “I wasn’t kidding when I said that I was not going to be able to wait for next time.”

  Lily’s elusive smile started at the corners of her mouth, lifting the apples of her cheeks and crinkling the outer edges of her gold-flecked eyes. “Do you seriously think you’re going to bang me against a Baobab tree?”

  “I know I’m going to bang you against a Baobab tree.” He was already working on
the zipper of her jeans. With his hands inside her pants, he slipped them into her underwear, tightly grasping her ass.

  Lily’s gasp was audible as he kneaded a cheek with each hand.

  “Are you ready for me?” he whispered.

  Nodding, she stepped out of her jeans and he undid his. Lifting her, she wrapped her legs around his slim hips and he lowered her onto his waiting cock. Leaning her back against the ancient tree trunk for leverage, Zac thrust his hips up burying himself deeply within Lily.

  Her eyes were wide as she let out another gasp. “I’ve never fucked against a tree.”

  Zac laughed, “It’s a first for me too, babe.” And after a few more strokes, “Tighten your legs around me, Lils.” Not taking his eyes off of hers, “You feel so damn good.”

  “You too,” were the only words she could squeak out and finally, as a result of his deep pounding, with bated breath, “Zac.”

  He nodded, “I know, babe.” His final powerful thrusts had her back molded to the tree.

  He fell into her, the old Baobab holding them both up. With their heads on one another’s shoulders, they stood very still until they’d both regained their breath.

  Hand-in-hand they headed back to camp.

  Please don’t fall in love with me, Zac silently warned.

  Please fall in love with me, Zac silently prayed.

  People were waiting for them upon their return, happy for their safe arrival after so many hours with no contact.

  Leading the charge was William Bray, who wrapped Lily in a warm embrace kissing her forehead and continuing to hug her tightly as if she’d just been lost at sea for weeks.

  Sticking a hand out to Zac, “Thank you for taking care of my girl.”

  Zac nodded and remained quiet. Anything he said was not going to be well received.

  Looking down at his muddy shirt, the shirt that Lily had been wearing all day and then painted with mud, he excused himself, “I think I need to find a hot shower, if there’s enough water left.”

  “We’ll keep the kitchen open for you,” William offered.

  “Oh thanks, but I’m not really hungry.” With a wave, he was off.